We had done all that we could to make Miss Kitty comfortable but it became aparent the long, rainy days were not helping her. The Adequan made a big difference in her over all condition and general well being. It was apparent over the last couple of weeks that she had again, become uncomfortable. Our vet came out yesterday morning and euthanized Miss Kitty. We buried her under the apple trees.

She was a very sweet mule and will be always be fondly remembered.

It is with a heavy heart that I write to tell you that we said goodbye to Julio on Tuesday, June 15 at 3 p.m. As you know he was diagnosed with Cushings almost seven years ago and it had taken its toll on his body in addition to arthritis and his age of 30 years. He could not see very well if much at all and had become more disoriented in his last weeks like his routine of following a scent path and the girls was not working anymore. And he kept giving me clear signs that he was shutting down - he began to lose more weight even though we fed him non-stop and his bones were protuding more - he was wasting. When I brushed him it was like his body was hollow, but of course he kept going. We had hoped he would make it to the Fall but the skin infections were constant and I did my best to keep him cleaned up and washed and medicated.

This was the hardest decision Ihave ever had to make in my life. He has been with us for 20 years. I could not talk about it for the weeks preceding and just worked on with the preparations. Truthfully right now just to talk about it is very painful. But we prepared the site, talked with the vet, the donkeys were on flower essences for a little over a month and had received Reiki. The day before I had all three donkeys in the yard with me munching on the green grass in the afternoon and when we walked back thru the pasture gate I knew it was the last time we would all walk thru there together.

The morning of our goodbyes I was out at the barn continuously and on one of my last visits it was a quiet time between me and Julio. I knelt down and looked right into those deep brown eyes of his that were now cloudy but I could see and feel all the years of wisdom and stories that they held. I told him I was going to agree to "let him go". He looked at me and I felt like it went right thru to my soul and then he lowered his head and closed his eyes. I pet him for a long time as I talked to him about all he had taught me and how much I really still needed to learn from him but I wanted him to know it was okay for him to go. At that moment I knew it was time for him to begin his next journey. Julio would be headed home .

In his last moments Rick had cut down some large beech trees (I know that some people say they should not eat them , but he ate them his whole life, he would turn his nose up at most other stuff, so he just knew ) So there he was moments before with his head tucked under the branches of a beech tree which was to Julio "pure Heaven". When the vet arrived Rick led Julio to his site and I took the girls to the barn for dinner and closed the doors. Kasandra and her husband Jason and Rick and the vet and the vet's assistant were with Julio. I could see them from the barn. Rick was holding Julio's head. Jason was supporting his rear. And immediately after he received the needle Julio relaxed so quietly and knelt down and it was as if he was going to sleep. They gently lifted him to his resting spot. I then came out with the girls. Violetta followed me down and sniffed and then walked on. Lavender was at the top of the hill and did not come down. So I went up and put her lead on as I thought it was important that she see where he was. She came right with me and when we got down there she sniffed, I unclipped her lead, she sniffed again. Then she lifted her head and walked away. We spent the next few hours working on Julio's resting place. It was then that Lavender walked over, lifted her head, let out one loud bray and then walked away. She did not go back. Julio was gone.

Lavender looked for him after that for the rest of the night, like she saw what she saw but ws still processing, she would stop wherever she was in the pasture and just look out into the distance and then walk on. Violetta followed her every step of the way and was very quiet . I do think that Lavender was missing him and it was like she was stuck somewhere in the middle, like she could not move forward. I always knew that her outward appearance of the leader was due to the fact that she relied on Julio for directions. It was and always will be Julio's pasture to her and she respected that and him.

Julio is now on his way home to see his family on those open spaces of the Grand Canyon. He was always a bit free, it was his nature. We did not "own" Julio. He chose to stay with us and that is why his trust was so special and why his personality was so endearing. He had always been able to retain who he was thru all he went thru - standing under the shade of a beech tree with Julio was like standing with him in the Grand Canyon. You could feel a sense of peace come over him there, a feeling of home. So that is what I will plant on top of his resting spot - a new, special beech tree that will be his alone. When we buried him I sent him along with some beech tree branches so that when he arrives at the Grand Canyon he wll not forget his life here with us . Julio is the spirit of Deer Hollow.

So my friend the pain is so difficult to deal with. I have been in touch with Mary Ann Norman thru all this so she knew. I knew what to expect and tried to prepare. But the heartache from this is extreme. Lavender had a difficult time and she did not bray again until late Wednesday afternoon. She paced alot and when I took the girls yesterday down to the lower pasture it was obviouis that she wanted him back. She would stop at any places you could tell they and he had been down there months back and she sniffed and then looked up and walked on. She walked away from munching - unusual behavior for her. And then she simply wanted to go back up - she was not yet ready to enjoy it without him. Violetta just followed along . I was concerned about her too though because she was trying to understand Lavender's behavor (who is like her mother). After Lavender brayed I felt like she was coming around. Last night she was a bit better. But when it rained and some wind came she went to the barn opening and out to look again where she had last seen Julio. Today I will lead her around the yard and other places they had been so she can check it all out and I think she will slowly come to terms with it. My heart breaks for her also because I cannot help her.

So keep us in your prayers and thoughts, especially Lavender. We have found that we all needed Julio more than he needed us and we miss him terribly.

Sue

contact@saveyourassrescue.org